For men experiencing erectile dysfunction, it’s common to have questions surrounding how to get – and keep – an erection suitable for intercourse. How can you have sex with ED without worrying about whether you’ll stay erect – and for how long?
First, it’s important to understand what ED is. More than 30 million men in the United States experience -- at some point in their lives -- an inability to achieve and maintain an erection over time. But not being able to “get it up” does not necessarily mean you have ED.
For it to be considered erectile dysfunction, it must be consistent. Having an “off night” or not being “in the mood” does not constitute erectile dysfunction. Having low testosterone or a low sex drive also does not mean ED. Erectile dysfunction is entirely about the erection: Can you achieve one and can it last?
Leading causes of ED include diabetes, high blood pressure, hardening of the arteries, prostate surgery, hormone imbalance, and alcohol and drug use. Erectile dysfunction can also be caused by psychological influences including stress, depression, low self-esteem, or anxiety over a previous sexual performance.
Talking to your doctor about whether you actually have ED and its possible causes can help you better understand your situation. From there, you can take the best path to treatment, and return to having even better sex with erectile dysfunction.
Options for Sex with ED
To still have great sex with ED, there are a variety of strategies you can take, depending on the cause.
The strategy many men think of first involve oral medications such as Viagra or Cialis, which treat ED by increasing blood flow to the penis. But medications cannot be prescribed in all situations. For example, if you are taking nitrates for a heart condition, oral medications are not recommended. Also, many men do not like taking pills. They can interfere with other medications, produce unwanted side effects, and take a while to take effect.
There are natural remedies for erectile dysfunction. Lifestyle changes can help, including dropping weight, quitting smoking, reducing alcohol intake, improving your diet, and exploring natural supplements.
Getting regular exercise is also important. Biking, walking, running, swimming, or taking a fitness class can all improve cardiovascular health, which in turn improves sexual health. There are also penis exercises you can do that promote blood flow to the penis and give you greater control over your erection and orgasm.
Another option is to experiment with the best positions for sex with ED, which can help you better sustain erections. Check out this video to learn more.
How to Have Sex with ED: Five Positions
One of the most important solutions to erectile dysfunction is finding ways to manage or eliminate stress. Anxiety over daily responsibilities, home-life, children, relationships, money, and expenses can build up, affecting performance in the bedroom. Experiencing symptoms of ED can add to this stress, creating a vicious cycle: You worry about not being able to perform, which adds to your worry, which makes you not able to perform.
For everyday stress, take active steps to address it. Exercise, go for a walk, get a hobby, or get a pet. There are many options, but do something that you’re excited about and that doesn’t add more stress trying to do. For example, golfing may be relaxing, but not if you’re stressed about your swing or breaking away on the weekends.
For the stress related to performance, try to give yourself a break. Relax and focus on the experience and intimacy of sex and not on your erection. Trust that there are other ways you are giving and getting pleasure – and your penis is not the most important part.
The Natural Option: Vacuum therapy
Another answer is to try vacuum therapy or a penis pump. A penis pump consists of an acrylic penile tube that is placed over the penis. One end is held secure to the base of the penis, while the other end of the tube is attached to a hand-held pump. The pump generates a vacuum suction that draws blood into the penis, creating an erection.
Once the erection is achieved, a constriction ring or penis ring is placed around the base of the penis. The pump is removed, and the ring or band holds the erection place.
There are many advantages of using vacuum therapy for ED over other treatments. Penis pumps:
- Are safe. Used properly, quality penis pumps like those sold through Rejoyn Medical are FDA-approved to work safely and effectively to resume your sex life.
- Are all natural. Penis pumps do not involve taking a medication that may be counter-indicated or may interfere with other prescriptions. There are no medical side effects, and there is no wait time wondering if the treatment is working.
- Are easy to obtain. Penis pumps can be purchased discretely online. No doctors’ appointments or prescriptions are needed.
- Are adaptable. They can be used along with other treatments for ED and can be used if you have diabetes or if you’re taking medications for heart disease.
Another benefit is experimentation. Being able to maintain an erection with a penis pump makes the prospect of new positions, role-playing, the use of sexual enhancements likes games and toys, and spontaneity all feasible. With vacuum therapy, men can also add excitement to intercourse just by experimenting with the equipment.
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About Penis Rings
A key component of the penis pump is the penis ring. Also known as a cock ring, a penis ring comes in a variety of materials and sizes. Made of plastic, rubber, or metal, penis rings can have a singular ring that encircles the penis, or an additional ring that encircles the testicles as well.
Penis rings that encircle the testicles can delay orgasm helping address premature ejaculation. There are also penis rings that have added features to stimulate the anus or clitoris during sex. Even when not used for erectile dysfunction, these features make using a penis ring an inviting option. Learn more here about what does a cock ring do and how to have better sex using accessories.
Incorporating a Penis Pump into your Lovemaking
One of the biggest mysteries about using a penis pump is bringing it into your routine with confidence and trusting that the penis pump doesn’t have to kill the mood.
To use an ED pump and keep it romantic, it’s important to practice. Take the time to work with every aspect of the vacuum pump: Assembling the device, applying the lubrication, operating the pump, creating the erection, and attaching the elastic support ring. Get to know how to use the device by touch so that your movements feel natural and automatic. The more you do it, the more skilled and fluid you will become. This will allow you to move the focus away from your erection and on to your partner and other dynamics of your lovemaking.
As you take steps to use the penis pump with expertise, keep in mind that your attitude about the device is a key component. You likely had moves in the sex department that have historically worked – long before the onset of erectile dysfunction. Tap into your past performance, and remember you are still that person.
Another way to increase your confidence is to arm yourself with knowledge. Learn more about:
- How to use a penis pump with minimal interruption to sex
- How to use a penis pump with your partner
- How to use a penis pump and skill keep your cool in the bedroom
- How to use a penis pump and still be good in bed
- How to bring your ED pump to date night
Benefits of Treating ED
Whether through medication or natural solutions like vacuum therapy, treating ED eliminates the doubt and the fear of not being able to perform. It creates a known quantity, which builds confidence, and lets men focus on other sexual activities like foreplay and position changes. Not having to worry about whether they can become – and stay – erect can reduce anxiety, and make sex better for men and for their partners.
As in many areas in life, the more you have something, the more you want it. The ability to get and sustain an erection – with no doubt and no fear that it won’t happen – can make sex more appealing. The positive results build on themselves, increasing sex drive and making both simply want to have sex more often.
Finally, while being in good physical condition can make for better sex, better and more frequent sex can also improve men’s physical condition. Studies show having sex for 45 minutes can burn over 200 calories. And having intercourse also works major muscle groups including the abs, glutes, quadriceps, biceps, triceps, hamstrings, and calves. Treating ED can allow men to take part in this exercise regularly. In turn, they become more fit and build greater confidence, which makes them feel even more sexual, creating a cycle of better, more frequent sex.
Kegel exercise program for menLearn More
What to Keep in Mind about Sex with ED
If it’s ignored, ED can create issues and difficulties in any relationship. But, if treated, ED can lead to more confidence, more excitement, and more possibilities under the covers. ED treatment can create a whole new life in the bedroom and beyond. As you treat ED, keep these factors in mind.
Remember that making love does not have to mean intercourse and penetration. Sex is also about the intimacy and connection you share with your partner. Take a trip together, explore other means of touching and playing, or just hold hands again. This can keep your connection strong as you explore solutions, and when you are ready for action, your relationship will be better than ever. Learn more here how to spice up your sex life when dealing with ED.
Along the lines of taking the focus off your penis, sources recommend getting creative. Try mutual masturbation to see first-hand what your partner likes. Or explore manual and oral stimulation, or using sex toys such as vibrators. See what other sensations you can create for you and your partner. You can also pursue sexual avenues that don’t actually involve sex: Erotic movies, risqué board games, and role playing. Trying new things can make sex with ED hotter than ever.
Keep talking with your partner. Treating ED requires open and honest communication with your partner. It means letting your partner know you still find them attractive and talking with them about vulnerability, techniques, and solutions. This communication can not only result in great sex, it can improve the relationship through intimacy, opening up, and closeness. And this ability to talk often transfers outside the bedroom, enhancing the relationship over all.
This is new ground for both of you, and understanding and trust will be essential. Your partner may feel insecure or that you no longer find them attractive. Take extra measures to reassure them, and focus on all the ways you love your partner.
Don’t shut down when it comes to erectile dysfunction and your experience. Keep in mind it is very common. Talk to your partner, set expectations, and bring up solutions. Help your partner understand the many causes of ED, including medical history, health issues, and even prescription drugs. Reassure your partner that you still find them attractive, and use the opportunity to purse new forms of intimacy together.
Relax. It’s essential to relax and let go of the pressure, performance anxiety, and stress. Wondering if your body will do what your heart and head are telling it to do can exasperate ED. Going into the situation, slow down and take time to appreciate the moment. Focus on foreplay and your feelings for your partner. Express your love in other ways. Remember that your mouth, words, and touch can be even more effective than your penis.
Be confident. Finally, with or without ED, essential to good sex is confidence. Your partner wants to know how you feel and wants to see you take charge. Be confident in your condition and your solutions. Own the situation and let your partner know you’re here to please. Being self-assured and poised is always sexy, and it will go far in making the sex unforgettable.
For many men, a diagnosis of erectile dysfunction comes with the notion that their sex lives are over. Fortunately, the 30 million men throughout the United States who have ED know this is not the case. Sex can still be possible, and in many ways it can be better than ever.