If you’re new on the dating scene, and at the same time experiencing challenges in your ability to achieve and maintain an erection, you may have some apprehensions. Will your body perform? Will you have to explain things to your date? Will you be able to take your courtship to the next level? Here, we provide answers on what you can do when your erectile dysfunction, new relationship and the opportunity for sex meet.
Understand your situation.
As you enter the dating world, it’s a good idea to assess your level of ED and whether you are treating it, or you can treat it. First, consider, is it really erectile dysfunction?
If you’ve experienced a loss of libido, or you’ve just had a couple “off nights,” it doesn’t necessarily mean you have ED. Check to see if you have signs of erectile dysfunction and make an appointment with your doctor.
From there, understand your options, keeping in mind that ED is common, treatable and not the end of your sex life. Treatments include lifestyle changes, penis exercises, herbal supplements, oral medications, surgery, or vacuum therapy or penis pumps. Spend some time exploring your options and finding a solution that will work best for you.
Remember: Communication is key.
Based on where you are in the treatment process, ED is something you’ll want to be open about with your date, eventually. Experts say it’s best to bring it up as soon you’re both ready to pursue sex. Be confident and honest and ask for their support and understanding. Don’t be apologetic or anxious—keep in mind this is a situation that millions of men deal with.
How your date responds will give you insights into the type of people they are. And you’ll have broken the ice to move ahead with solutions. With the right rapport, your partner can be part of the treatment process, either by helping you time medications, make healthy lifestyle choices, or even experiment with a penis pump. Together, you can explore all the options for how to have sex with ED.
Remember that throughout these conversations and your interactions—in and out of the bedroom—your date will appreciate reassurances that the erectile dysfunction is not about them. It is common for partners to have feelings of unattractiveness, of not being good enough, or not being desired sexually. This is where communication is important. Make sure to tell your partner—often—that you are attracted to them physically and want to be with them.
Focus on the big picture.
When learning how to deal with erectile dysfunction in a relationship, remember that there are many qualities that make you a man, and many characteristics your date is looking for in a partner. Don’t let one stand out above the others, which means you shouldn't put too much emphasis on sex and your erection.
While sex is an important part of any relationship, your date will likely also be looking for someone who is an:
- Active listener
- Social companion
- Caring friend
- Dance partner
- Workout buddy
- Fellow wine taster...
You get the point. You bring many great qualities and roles to the table, and everything you have to offer your date (or any date) has value in the dating world.
When worlds collide among erectile dysfunction, new relationship and sex, it's natural to have concerns. But remember: you are not alone and there are solutions. Treatment, communication, and a holistic approach to all your date-worthy attributes are important.