When it comes to erectile dysfunction, much of the focus is on the person experiencing it, and not on their significant others. Yet, partners are impacted as well, and it’s common for them to go through their own reactions and feelings of stress and uncertainty. If your boyfriend has ED and you’re wondering “How do I cope?” these strategies and approaches can help point him in the right direction.
Relax and stay positive.
Before anything else, it’s important to recognize that erectile dysfunction is common and it is treatable. Erectile dysfunction affects over 30 million men in America, and most men will experience at ED at some point in their lives. But having ED does not mean the end of sex. There are solutions! Keeping this in mind can help you keep a positive outlook, which will help you both.
Don’t internalize it.
Experts agree that a partner’s go-to response when their man has erectile dysfunction is to blame themselves. In distress, they feel they’ve done something wrong or they are no longer attractive. Then, they compensate in the either direction, either trying too hard to make sex happen, or pulling away with anxiety or resentment.
Experts say to accept the fact that it has nothing to do with you. Learn about ED and open the lines of communication in a safe, non-judging way. Let them know that sex is important to you, but so is a healthy and intimate relationship, which can be achieved in other ways.
Try certain positions.
The answer to "How do I cope if my boyfriend has ED?" may be as simple as switching up your position. Strong erections call for maximum blood flow to the penis, so whatever you can do to preserve blood for the penis can help. This means avoiding positions that require muscle strength to the upper arms and abs. Get on top and let him conserve his strength for his penis. Or pursue manual or oral stimulation that does not require him to exert extra energy Another strategy is to plan for morning sex when sources say estrogen and testosterone levels are at their peak.
Take the emphasis off of sex.
As you navigate this new terrain, it’s also important to remember that sex is not everything. There are other ways to connect with your partner and create intimacy. Let your boyfriend know your satisfaction is not based solely on his erection. At the same time, do not go too far in the other direction. Making him think sex means too little to you can also wreak havoc on his self-esteem.
Try vacuum therapy.
Finally, keep in mind that solutions to ED do not have to mean your boyfriend needs to take medication or undergo a medical procedure. Let him know there are natural things he can do when it comes to how to have sex with ED, including lifestyle changes, penis exercises, and herbal supplements.
One natural way to achieve and keep solid, firm erections is with vacuum therapy or a penis pump. This device is used to create a vacuum suction, which draws blood into the penis, creating an erection. Once the erection is achieved, a support ring is placed around the base of the penis holding the erection in place. This can be an effective and exciting option for you and your boyfriend, as you can be involved with applying the pump and lubricant, and it can become part of new and intriguing foreplay.
If “My boyfriend has ED—how do I cope?” has become a question you find yourself asking, these tips can help. In addition, simply arming yourself and your boyfriend with information and facts can alleviate stress and help you both work toward healthy solutions. To learn more, browse our blogs, and download our free ebook, Everything You Need to Know about Erectile Dysfunction.