They say mature men make better lovers. So, the older we get, the more it behooves us to have some moves in the bedroom that reflect our many years of passion and experience. In line with this is the ability to “talk dirty” without sounding silly or distasteful. Many men want to perfect this skill, but struggle to know just what to say and how to say it. Here are eight tips for how to talk dirty in the way your partner will want to hear.
Set the stage.
To start talking dirty, it can be helpful to start before you hit the bedroom. Flirt at dinner, make a suggestive comment, and hint about what you may want to do later. Say enough to make your partner blush, but not to be too extreme. You want to keep the moment romantic, as a prelude to intimacy. Compliment your partner with heartfelt comments beyond just how they look. Tell them their kiss tastes sweet, their perfume smells sexy, or their voice gets you excited. Let them know how being with them makes you feel.
Once you're in the moment, you may be inclined to say things that just don’t “sound like you.” To prevent this, remember to be authentic. Don’t panic and put too much pressure on yourself. Using phrases that you hear in the movies or by a rap artist might throw your partner out of the moment. Remember your partner wants to be with you and hear what you have to say. Stick with that, relax, and say what you feel comfortable saying.
Focus on the feeling.
Another good source of material is simply how your partner makes you feel. One source reports that speaking out about what’s happening to your body brings more awareness to it. It also lets your partner know the effect they’re having on you, which increases their confidence. Also, don’t be shy about talking about how your partner feels to you. Think of sensations like warm, soft, and wet. Remember all the senses, and let them know how sexy they are. (This can also help reassure your partner that you find them attractive, which can go a long way if you’re also looking for answers to how to have sex with ED.)
Make your partner feel loved.
An essential thing to remember as you explore how to talk dirty is that you may be on new ground, and your words may be coming from out of the blue. Be sensitive to your partner about how they may interpret this new talk. Make sure your partner feels loved and valued. Feeling like an object or conquest, or hearing disrespect or control in your voice will likely feel like a turnoff. If you come to the conversation from a place of love, your words will follow suit.
A simple rule to talking dirty is that it is just talking. If you’re struggling for what to say, an easy approach is to give directions (not demands). Tell your partner what you like and how it makes you feel. Ask your partner to move this way, slow down, speed up, go there, or touch here. Communicate what feels good and what you like. You’ll get ideas as you go, and because your partner will learn just what pleases you, sex will become better than ever.
Say your partner’s name.
You can also incorporate dirty talk into your love‑making simply by saying your partner’s name. It’s something people love to hear, and having you say their name in such a personal way—in such an intimate act—can add to your partner’s desire. Repeat their name, and add compliments about how they look, feel, and smell.
Remember key phrases.
Another tip when figuring how to talk dirty is to stick with ready, key phrases, such as “Oh yeah, right there,” “That feels amazing,” or “I want you so bad.” These can be go‑to lines that you’re comfortable saying, but that don’t require too much thought to get right. But do remember to mix them up, and don’t get too repetitive. Your partner does not want to be in bed with a broken record.
Keep it sweet.
Finally, keep the moment sweet. Sources advise to not be vulgar or insulting, or use derogatory words. Your partner wants to feel treasured and admired. Falling back on “locker room talk” will likely be a turn off.
Knowing how to talk dirty can be the difference between a so‑so sex life, and one still filled with passion and excitement. It can add excitement and intimacy to your love‑making, and can propel you into the upper leagues of lovers. And it’s one of the many natural, no‑cost, and easy things you can do to intensify your connection and your erection. Want more ideas? Download our free ebook, All‑Natural Ways to Achieve and Keep the Best Erections of Your Life.