If your husband or boyfriend starts to have a hard time having a “hard time,” it’s normal to want to take it personally. It’s common to internalize what is going on, and feel unattractive or even unloved. But rest assured. The attraction and love are still there. Your partner – like 30 million men throughout the country – could just be experiencing erectile dysfunction. Here’s how to help a man with ED.
Understand erectile dysfunction.
First, it’s important to know that ED is a medical condition. When a man has ED, the arteries are not able to get enough blood to the penis, or the back flow valves in the penis allow blood to leak out of the penis. As a result, the penis is not able to attain or sustain an erection. It’s a very common problem, and while it has nothing to do with age, incidence of ED does increase the older a man gets.
Talk about causes.
Second, communication is key. But don’t come to the conversation thinking the ED has anything to do with you. Take yourself out of the equation, and try not to act insulted, upset, or stressed. Instead, understand the many causes of ED, which can include recent surgery or the use of medications. For 10% to 20% of men, psychological factors cause ED, such as stress, depression, poor self-esteem, or performance anxiety. Talk to your partner about what is really going on, and make sure to be supportive and positive – ED is 100% treatable and you can get through this.
Third, if your partner is indeed experiencing ED, it’s important not to add extra pressure to the situation. Relax and give you both the time and space to explore solutions. At the same time, don’t stop communicating and start avoiding sex. Focus instead on other ways to build intimacy in your relationship and the many ways to have better sex besides having an erection. If your partner’s ED is caused by stress and performance anxiety, this will go far in reducing his fears.
Finally, open your heart and mind to solutions. A treatment that’s becoming more and more popular is the use of an ED pump or penis pump, which uses vacuum suction to create an erection, and an elastic support ring that holds the erection in place. These devices are clinically proven to work, and have helped many men restore their sexual performance and regain their confidence. They can make sex happen, and in a lot of cases, they can even make sex better.
If your husband or boyfriend is experiencing erectile dysfunction, remember there are many answers to how to help a man with ED, and rebuild a sex life that’s even better than it was before. The most important thing is to keep talking and stay positive. To learn more, browse our blogs. And to get more insights on how to talk to your husband about ED, download our free ebook.