When people think about good sex, they often think of the arousal, the urgency, and, of course, a big orgasm. But often what makes good sex is intercourse that is regular, intimate, appreciated, and communicative. Done right, good sex can not only be satisfying physically, it can also improve your relationship. The following is how to have better sex, and improve the closeness between you and your partner.
Release the oxytocin.
Oxytocin is a hormone produced by both men and women’s bodies when they orgasm. Known as the “love hormone,” it can trigger feelings of relaxation, trust, and psychological stability that people associate with long-lasting relationships. The more we have sex and release this stimulating hormone, the greater our feelings of love grow. Simply: More sex can feel like more love.
This feel-good oxytocin can also help reduce stress. Sources indicate that sexual arousal stimulates the “reward and pleasure” system of the brain, relieving anxiety and promoting overall health. With regular, purposeful sex, you may find yourself less occupied with the stressors in life – work, household duties, children, bills – and more focused on the physical act of being together. By prioritizing sex, you’ll be calmer and in a better place in your relationship.
While sex is intimate, there is a difference between sex and intimacy. Good sex requires you to be in the moment, with your partner, with your head in the game. You can increase intimacy by spending time together before you have sex, talking, and making each other laugh. During sex, you can:
- Minimize distractions
- Talk to each other
- Make eye contact
- Change positions
- Touch each other more often
- And try new adventures together
After sex, you can increase intimacy by taking the time to cuddle and hold each other. You’ll find sex is more pleasurable, and you will be more connected and bonded with your partner.
Finally, good sex makes you feel good about your partner, yourself, and your relationship. It’s essentially a workout, so you’re burning calories and taking care of yourself physically. You’re releasing oxytocin and relieving stress, so you feel better emotionally. You’re satisfying your partner so you gain a sense of pride. And you’re making your partner feel wanted and attractive, so chances are the feelings are reciprocated. All this leads to increased confidence that not only improves your overall mood but increases your libido. What this means is that good sex leads to more sex.
If you’re looking for how to have better sex, also consider ways to have a better relationship. Good sex is about sexual satisfaction, but it’s also about coming together and getting closer. Take the opportunity to release oxytocin, relieve stress, build intimacy, and boost confidence. Take the opportunity to have better sex. You and your partner will be glad you did.