If you’re married or in a long-term relationship, it’s likely you know how to satisfy your partner. But people change over the years, and our bodies, hormones, and sexual needs and desires change as well. You may find yourself wanting to rediscover what your partner likes — or searching for how to get the spark back in the bedroom.
These tips will help ensure you’re evolving with your partner to have better sex no matter your age or stage of your relationship.
Look out for hints.
Just like you, through the years, your partner is exposed to intriguing things. Through books, movies, even conversations with friends, we all learn about new experiences that we may want to try ourselves. Pay attention to the stories your partner shares, or the comments they make in passing. They may be telling you exactly what they want — you just have to listen!
Take “10 Magic Minutes.”
Along the lines of listening, one source suggests trying “10 Magic Minutes.” In this technique, you commit to spending 10 minutes a day talking to your partner. The rules are there can be no interruptions, and you cannot talk about things that cause stress, such as work, money, or kids.
Discuss only things that bring you closer together — upcoming trips, new hobbies, a restaurant you’d like to go to. Then, once a week, turn the subject to sex: What you like, what’s working, what’s not, techniques, and frequency. Talking about sex at a non-sexual time, in a non-threatening way, can keep you both communicating about your changing desires.
Try something new.
Another answer to how to get the spark back in the bedroom is to try something new and listen for the response. Be open to introducing a porn movie, a new position, or massage gels and enhancements. Bring up your thoughts during your “10 Magic Minutes,” and see what your partner says. Or present the new item the next time you’re in bed. Make sure to communicate about it first though — your partner may not appreciate having it sprung on them in the moment.
Experiment with a toy.
Along the same lines of trying something new, explore the use of adult toys. These add a whole new element to sex you may not have tried before. You can shop together, or buy something discretely online. One popular toy is a penis ring. These small, flexible rings are placed over the top and at the base of the penis, holding your erection in place throughout sex. Penis rings can create new sensations in your erection and orgasm, and there are some that are designed to stimulate your partner as well. See how a penis ring can help you have better sex.
Finally, while needs and interests change over time, one thing that doesn’t change is your partner’s desire to feel desired. Recognize that by taking the lead. Give your partner a squeeze when you walk by, grab them to you for a quick kiss, or initiate sex with passion that you can’t suppress. Knowing you still find them attractive and want to be with them sexually will make them more receptive and engaged, and more comfortable and confident.
If you find yourself wondering how to get the spark back in the bedroom, trust that there is still time and opportunity to have the best sex you’ve ever had. You just have listen to the changing needs, desires, and interests of your partner. Keep communicating, keep an open mind, and together you’ll keep having amazing sex for years to come — naturally and easily. To learn how you can have better sex no matter your age, browse our blogs and download our free ebook All-Natural Ways to Achieve and Keep the Best Erection of Your Life.