As we get older and our relationships get longer, it’s common to get into a “rut” in the bedroom. And it’s just as common to want to look for ways to spice up your sex life. These are eight easy, DIY things you can do starting now that will make a big impact on not just the act of sex, but your overall relationship.
1. Slow down
Life moves fast, but oftentimes going from zero to 60 in the bedroom doesn’t happen quite as quickly—or with as much passion—as we would like. If you’re looking for ways to spice up your sex life, it may be helpful to change your tempo and set a new rhythm. This can build anticipation and excitement as it can involve drawing out the courtship, the foreplay, and the act itself—making the experience last longer, and giving you time to create and bask in the bond. And, one source reports going slower over a longer period of time can intensify orgasms for both of you.
2. Try date night
When it comes to ways to spice up your sex life and have better sex no matter your age, a date night is always a great place to start. A report by the National Marriage Project indicates that date nights foster:
- Novelty—as in newness or excitement
- Eros—romantic love linked to passion
- Stress reduction
Further, the report finds that couples who regularly take part in date nights experience greater happiness in their marriages and are more satisfied with sex. Remember, though, there’s no need to get out of the house for an actual date. You can celebrate at home with a romantic dinner. Watch a movie that the two of you have been wanting to see. Or even break out your old tunes and turn your living room into a dance floor.
3. Get out of the bedroom
Another way to rejuvenate your sex life is to rethink your location and go for a change of scenery. Take your relationship outside the bedroom, and try the hallway, the living room, or the stairs. “Christening” the house may make you both feel like teenagers again. Also, consider going outside and exploring the opportunities of golf courses at midnight, hiking trails, and secluded parks. They can all be spontaneous and romantic settings. Of course, it’s important to assess the risk first. A fear of being “caught” can add to the thrill, but you really don’t want to be discovered.
4. Do more than cook
If you want to stay indoors to heat things up, try the kitchen. The kitchen has chairs, tables, and countertops, which sources say are ideal for the “butterfly” or modified missionary position. This position takes advantage of the height of the countertop for greater penetration. Your partner sits on the edge of the counter facing you, while you remain standing in front of her.
5. Think locations on your partner
Another way to spice up your sex life is to consider that the location may not be a destination. It could be a place on your partner. Is there an erogenous zone you never knew about? An elusive spot you’ve never touched? Reinvigorating things may just be a matter of slowing down and rediscovering what your partner likes.
6. Plan a trip
Another thing to try is to get away from it all. Being at home can bring on pressures of work, maintenance, bills, and life’s demands—all things that can create stress and drain your libido. Planning a weekend getaway, a tropical vacation, or even a second honeymoon can do magic in recharging your sex life and adding fun and adventure to your relationship.
7. Break up the routine
Along those same lines, take the opportunity to deviate from your regular routines and schedules. You could be in the mood for sex before dinner, or even after breakfast. You could take a day off in the middle of the week, or perhaps you yourself want to come home for lunch. Experiment with a new schedule and routines and see what can happen with better timing.
8. Experiment and play
A final tactic that can spice up your sex life is to do something new. Try a different position, or explore the use of adult enhancements, like toys, oils, games, or penis pumps. While penis pumps are often sold as vacuum therapy devices for the treatment of ED, they can also be used exclusively for fun and experimentation. Here’s how using a penis pump can make sex even better.
Whether it’s changing locations, changing routines, or just changing your state of mind, there are many ways to bring back the excitement in—and out—of the bedroom. To learn more, browse our blogs along with our online resource for how to have better sex no matter your age.